⎛⎛Serious buyers kik @ calista_al_qatari 🍭

Jason didn’t understand why his parents wouldn’t let him sell his little sister at the garage sale

They throw cabbage that turns your brain into emotional baggage

You realize you’re not alone as you sit in your bedroom massaging your calves after a long day of playing tug-of-war with Grandpa Joe in the hospital

She wanted a pet platypus but ended up getting a duck and a ferret instead

He wondered if it could be called a beach if there was no sand

People who insist on picking their teeth with their elbows are so annoying

The miniature pet elephant became the envy of the neighborhood

25 years later, she still regretted that specific moment

If I don’t like something, I’ll stay away from it

I received a heavy fine but it failed to crush my spirit

Jim liked driving around town with his hazard lights on

He learned the important lesson that a picnic at the beach on a windy day is a bad idea

Eating eggs on Thursday for choir practice was recommended

They desperately needed another drummer since the current one only knew how to play bongos

He was 100% into fasting with her until he understood that meant he couldn’t eat

He loved eating his bananas in hot dog buns

Separation anxiety is what happens when you can’t find your phone

He was 100% into fasting with her until he understood that meant he couldn’t eat

The trick to getting kids to eat anything is to put catchup on it

If eating three-egg omelets causes weight-gain, budgie eggs are a good substitute