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If eating three-egg omelets causes weight-gain, budgie eggs are a good substitute

The furnace repairman indicated the heating system was acting as an air conditioner

He had a vague sense that trees gave birth to dinosaurs

He wondered why at 18 he was old enough to go to war, but not old enough to buy cigarettes

He found a leprechaun in his walnut shell

Three years later, the coffin was still full of Jello

They say people remember important moments in their life well, yet no one even remembers their own birth

Karen realized the only way she was getting into heaven was to cheat

At that moment I was the most fearsome weasel in the entire swamp

There’s a message for you if you look up

I caught my squirrel rustling through my gym bag

He was disappointed when he found the beach to be so sandy and the sun so sunny

Don’t piss in my garden and tell me you’re trying to help my plants grow

Potato wedges probably are not best for relationships

He had a hidden stash underneath the floorboards in the back room of the house

Green should have smelled more tranquil, but somehow it just tasted rotten

The toy brought back fond memories of being lost in the rain forest

After coating myself in vegetable oil I found my success rate skyrocketed

It was getting dark, and we weren’t there yet

Traveling became almost extinct during the pandemic