🍑 19F add me for premium snap @ IMPURPLEQUEEN

I always dreamed about being stranded on a desert island until it actually happened

For the 216th time, he said he would quit drinking soda after this last Coke

Weather is not trivial - it’s especially important when you’re standing in i

She had some amazing news to share but nobody to share it with

The virus had powers none of us knew existed

When she didn’t like a guy who was trying to pick her up, she started using sign language

He felt that dining on the bridge brought romance to his relationship with his cat

He ended up burning his fingers poking someone else’s fire

Her fragrance of choice was fresh garlic

He figured a few sticks of dynamite were easier than a fishing pole to catch fish

The door swung open to reveal pink giraffes and red elephants

We have young kids who often walk into our room at night for various reasons including clowns in the closet

She says she has the ability to hear the soundtrack of your life

The complicated school homework left the parents trying to help their kids quite confused

The minute she landed she understood the reason this was a fly-over state

Gary didn’t understand why Doug went upstairs to get one dollar bills when he invited him to go cow tipping

Situps are a terrible way to end your day

Bill ran from the giraffe toward the dolphin

There are no heroes in a punk rock band

When he asked her favorite number, she answered without hesitation that it was diamonds