🍑 19F add me for premium snap @ IMPURPLEQUEEN

There have been days when I wished to be separated from my body, but today wasn’t one of those days

The wake behind the boat told of the past while the open sea for told life in the unknown future

Iguanas were falling out of the trees

Car safety systems have come a long way, but he was out to prove they could be outsmarted

Car safety systems have come a long way, but he was out to prove they could be outsmarted

Sometimes you have to just give up and win by cheating

He liked to play with words in the bathtub

On a scale from one to ten, what’s your favorite flavor of random grammar?

After exploring the abandoned building, he started to believe in ghosts

If any cop asks you where you were, just say you were visiting Kansas

I want to buy a onesie… but know it won’t suit me

He wore the surgical mask in public not to keep from catching a virus, but to keep people away from him

Separation anxiety is what happens when you can’t find your phone

It’s never comforting to know that your fate depends on something as unpredictable as the popping of corn

He wore the surgical mask in public not to keep from catching a virus, but to keep people away from him

Car safety systems have come a long way, but he was out to prove they could be outsmarted

He decided to fake his disappearance to avoid jail

I used to practice weaving with spaghetti three hours a day but stopped because I didn’t want to die alone

It was the first time he had ever seen someone cook dinner on an elephant

Tomatoes make great weapons when water balloons aren’t available