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  1. I can’t believe this is the eighth time I’m smashing open my piggy bank on the same day!

It’s never been my responsibility to glaze the donuts

  1. This is a Japanese doll.

The gruff old man sat in the back of the bait shop grumbling to himself as he scooped out a handful of worms

Dan ate the clouds like cotton candy

The fog was so dense even a laser decided it wasn’t worth the effort

Each person who knows you has a different perception of who you are

The father handed each child a roadmap at the beginning of the 2-day road trip and explained it was so they could find their way home

Yeah, I think it’s a good environment for learning English

I had a friend in high school named Rick Shaw, but he was fairly useless as a mode of transport

It was getting dark, and we weren’t there yet

He was so preoccupied with whether or not he could that he failed to stop to consider if he should.

Lets all be unique together until we realise we are all the same. Don’t put peanut butter on the dog’s nose.

He figured a few sticks of dynamite were easier than a fishing pole to catch fish.

Toddlers feeding raccoons surprised even the seasoned park ranger

The hand sanitizer was actually clear glue. The bread dough reminded her of Santa Clause’s belly

As time wore on, simple dog commands turned into full paragraphs explaining why the dog couldn’t do something

He had concluded that pigs must be able to fly in Hog Heaven

I currently have 4 windows open up… and I don’t know why

I’m worried by the fact that my daughter looks to the local carpet seller as a role model