The secret ingredient to his wonderful life was crime
I often see the time 11:11 or 12:34 on clocks.
- The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
The best part of marriage is animal crackers with peanut butter.
- He put heat on the wound to see what would grow.
Your girlfriend bought your favorite cookie crisp cereal but forgot to get milk
He had reached the point where he was paranoid about being paranoid
The blinking lights of the antenna tower came into focus just as I heard a loud snap
Tom got a small piece of pie
I’m confused: when people ask me what’s up, and I point, they groan
We need to rent a room for our party
- The body piercing didn’t go exactly as he expected.
My biggest joy is roasting almonds while stalking prey
The Guinea fowl flies through the air with all the grace of a turtle
He looked behind the door and didn’t like what he saw
The opportunity of a lifetime passed before him as he tried to decide between a cone or a cup
I met an interesting turtle while the song on the radio blasted away
Joe discovered that traffic cones make excellent megaphones
The crowd yells and screams for more memes. He wasn’t bitter that she had moved on but from the radish