🍒 Kik@ ALEXAEVANSSSS CUSTOM NUDES, PREMIUM SNAP, GFE

It turns out you don’t need all that stuff you insisted you did

The blinking lights of the antenna tower came into focus just as I heard a loud snap

Situps are a terrible way to end your day

Peanuts don’t grow on trees, but cashews do

Sometimes, all you need to do is completely make an ass of yourself and laugh it off to realise that life isn’t so bad after all

Jenny made the announcement that her baby was an alien

If you spin around three times, you’ll start to feel melancholy

It must be easy to commit crimes as a snake because you don’t have to worry about leaving fingerprints

It caught him off guard that space smelled of seared steak

When nobody is around, the trees gossip about the people who have walked under them

She always speaks to him in a loud voice

He had accidentally hacked into his company’s server

He dreamed of eating green apples with worms

Jason didn’t understand why his parents wouldn’t let him sell his little sister at the garage sale

Everyone pretends to like wheat until you mention barley

I’m confused: when people ask me what’s up, and I point, they groan

Trash covered the landscape like sprinkles do a birthday cake

He used to get confused between soldiers and shoulders, but as a military man, he now soldiers responsibility

He looked behind the door and didn’t like what he saw

Today I heard something new and unmemorable