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The bread dough reminded her of Santa Clause’s belly

I ate a sock because people on the Internet told me to

The door swung open to reveal pink giraffes and red elephants

The clock within this blog and the clock on my laptop are 1 hour different from each othe

Nobody questions who built the pyramids in Mexico

The tree fell unexpectedly short

That must be the tenth time I’ve been arrested for selling deep-fried cigars

The trick to getting kids to eat anything is to put catchup on it

His get rich quick scheme was to grow a cactus farm

He realized there had been several deaths on this road, but his concern rose when he saw the exact number

Gary didn’t understand why Doug went upstairs to get one dollar bills when he invited him to go cow tipping

The anaconda was the greatest criminal mastermind in this part of the neighborhood

When he had to picnic on the beach, he purposely put sand in other people’s food

I’ve traveled all around Africa and still haven’t found the gnu who stole my scarf

  1. As he dangled from the rope deep inside the crevasse

Green should have smelled more tranquil, but somehow it just tasted rotten

If you like tuna and tomato sauce, try combining the two, it’s really not as bad as it sounds

She always had an interesting perspective on why the world must be flat

Peanuts don’t grow on trees, but cashews do

Waffles are always better without fire ants and fleas