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The mysterious diary records the voice

He didn’t understand why the bird wanted to ride the bicycle

Lucifer was surprised at the amount of life at Death Valley.

You should never take advice from someone who thinks red paint dries quicker than blue paint

I only enjoy window shopping when the windows are transparent

100 years old is such a young age if you happen to be a bristlecone pine

I became paranoid that the school of jellyfish was spying on me

She looked at the masterpiece hanging in the museum but all she could think is that her five-year-old could do better

It must be easy to commit crimes as a snake because you don’t have to worry about leaving fingerprints

We’re careful about orange ping pong balls because people might think they’re fruit

This book is sure to liquefy your brain

It must be five o’clock somewhere

She is never happy until she finds something to be unhappy about; then, she is overjoyed

There is no better feeling than staring at a wall with closed eyes

Someone I know recently combined Maple Syrup & buttered Popcorn thinking it would taste like caramel popcorn. It didn’t and they don’t recommend anyone else do it either

Mary realized if her calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than her computer browser history

All she wanted was the answer, but she had no idea how much she would hate it

He knew it was going to be a bad day when he saw mountain lions roaming the streets

Purple is the best city in the forest

He waited for the stop sign to turn to a go sign