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I ate a sock because people on the Internet told me to

He ended up burning his fingers poking someone else’s fire

Henry couldn’t decide if he was an auto mechanic or a priest

Jason didn’t understand why his parents wouldn’t let him sell his little sister at the garage sale

She was the type of girl who wanted to live in a pink house

Martha came to the conclusion that shake weights are a great gift for any occasion

Normal activities took extraordinary amounts of concentration at the high altitude

The bullet pierced the window shattering it before missing Danny’s head by mere millimeters

To the surprise of everyone, the Rapture happened yesterday but it didn’t quite go as expected

Siri became confused when we reused to follow her directions

Too many prisons have become early coffins

It’s much more difficult to play tennis with a bowling ball than it is to bowl with a tennis ball

I’m working on a sweet potato farm

She could hear him in the shower singing with a joy she hoped he’d retain after she delivered the news

There were three sphered rocks congregating in a cubed room

It’s important to remember to be aware of rampaging grizzly bears

His mind was blown that there was nothing in space except space itself

Strawberries must be the one food that doesn’t go well with this brand of paint

Best friends are like old tomatoes and shoelaces

The body piercing didn’t go exactly as he expected