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The bread dough reminded her of Santa Clause’s belly

His ultimate dream fantasy consisted of being content and sleeping eight hours in a row

After coating myself in vegetable oil I found my success rate skyrocketed

He was the type of guy who liked Christmas lights on his house in the middle of July

He watched the dancing piglets with panda bear tummies in the swimming pool

Even though he thought the world was flat he didn’t see the irony of wanting to travel around the world

Peanuts don’t grow on trees, but cashews do

I really want to go to work, but I am too sick to drive

The pigs were insulted that they were named hamburgers

The green tea and avocado smoothie turned out exactly as would be expected

The tortoise jumped into the lake with dreams of becoming a sea turtle

I love eating toasted cheese and tuna sandwiches

The light in his life was actually a fire burning all around him

The stench from the feedlot permeated the car despite having the air conditioning on recycled air

They were excited to see their first sloth

He didn’t heed the warning and it had turned out surprisingly well

She felt that chill that makes the hairs on the back of your neck when he walked into the room

They finished building the road they knew no one would ever use

Sometimes I stare at a door or a wall and I wonder what is this reality, why am I alive, and what is this all about

Having no hair made him look even hairier