The teenage boy was accused of breaking his arm simply to get out of the test
She wrote him a long letter, but he didnât read it
My uncleâs favorite pastime was building cars out of noodles
Today arrived with a crash of my car through the garage door
People who insist on picking their teeth with their elbows are so annoying
He wondered if she would appreciate his toenail collection
He had accidentally hacked into his companyâs server
Lets all be unique together until we realise we are all the same
8% of 25 is the same as 25% of 8 and one of them is much easier to do in your head
When money was tight, heâd get his lunch money from the local wishing well
Imagine his surprise when he discovered that the safe was full of pudding
I come from a tribe of head-hunters, so I will never need a shrink
Mary realized if her calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than her computer browser history
100 years old is such a young age if you happen to be a bristlecone pine
It was difficult for Mary to admit that most of her workout consisted of exercising poor judgment
She insisted that cleaning out your closet was the key to good driving
I became paranoid that the school of jellyfish was spying on me
She couldnât understand why nobody else could see that the sky is full of cotton candy
She found it strange that people use their cellphones to actually talk to one another
The golden retriever loved the fireworks each Fourth of July