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The fog was so dense even a laser decided it wasn’t worth the effort

Shakespeare was a famous 17th-century diesel mechanic

There aren’t enough towels in the world to stop the sewage flowing from his mouth

She was the type of girl that always burnt sugar to show she cared

When he asked her favorite number, she answered without hesitation that it was diamonds

He kept telling himself that one day it would all somehow make sense

Having no hair made him look even hairier

A good example of a useful vegetable is medicinal rhubarb

I made myself a peanut butter sandwich as I didn’t want to subsist on veggie crackers

I only enjoy window shopping when the windows are transparent

Someone I know recently combined Maple Syrup & buttered Popcorn thinking it would taste like caramel popcorn. It didn’t and they don’t recommend anyone else do it either

The truth is that you pay for your lifestyle in hours

As he entered the church he could hear the soft voice of someone whispering into a cell phone

When I was little I had a car door slammed shut on my hand and I still remember it quite vividly

Various sea birds are elegant, but nothing is as elegant as a gliding pelican

The best key lime pie is still up for debate

I come from a tribe of head-hunters, so I will never need a shrink

Chocolate covered crickets were his favorite snack

Buried deep in the snow, he hoped his batteries were fresh in his avalanche beacon

As he entered the church he could hear the soft voice of someone whispering into a cell phone