Barking dogs and screaming toddlers have the unique ability to turn friendly neighbors into cranky enemies
If eating three-egg omelets causes weight-gain, budgie eggs are a good substitute
Stop waiting for exceptional things to just happen
She looked at the masterpiece hanging in the museum but all she could think is that her five-year-old could do better
He embraced his new life as an eggplant
On a scale from one to ten, whatâs your favorite flavor of random grammar?
Thereâs probably enough glass in my cupboard to build an undersea aquarium
He created a pig burger out of beef
Kevin embraced his ability to be at the wrong place at the wrong time
Facing his greatest fear, he ate his first marshmallow
If you spin around three times, youâll start to feel melancholy.
Youâll see the rainbow bridge after it rains cats and dogs
He is good at eating pickles and telling women about his emotional problems
They called out her name time and again, but were met with nothing but silence.
Always bring cinnamon buns on a deep-sea diving expedition
She cried diamonds 
He liked to play with words in the bathtub
Youâll see the rainbow bridge after it rains cats and dogs.
Flash photography is best used in full sunlight
I caught my squirrel rustling through my gym bag