His get rich quick scheme was to grow a cactus farm
To the surprise of everyone, the Rapture happened yesterday but it didnât quite go as expected
The pigs were insulted that they were named hamburgers
The pigs were insulted that they were named hamburgers
The toddlerâs endless tantrum caused the entire plane anxiety
You should never take advice from someone who thinks red paint dries quicker than blue paint
A suit of armor provides excellent sun protection on hot days
If eating three-egg omelets causes weight-gain, budgie eggs are a good substitute
There arenât enough towels in the world to stop the sewage flowing from his mouth
Sometimes you have to just give up and win by cheating
As he looked out the window, he saw a clown walk by
Blue sounded too cold at the time and yet it seemed to work for gin
He quietly entered the museum as the super bowl started
He took one look at what was under the table and noped the hell out of there
Dan took the deep dive down the rabbit hole
She hadnât had her cup of coffee, and that made things all the worse
Your girlfriend bought your favorite cookie crisp cereal but forgot to get milk
You have every right to be angry, but that doesnât give you the right to be mean
The elephant didnât want to talk about the person in the room
As he waited for the shower to warm, he noticed that he could hear water change temperature