19f cali KIK/SNAP @ ALEXAEVANSSSS add me to buy!

She thought there’d be sufficient time if she hid her watch

It was always dangerous to drive with him since he insisted the safety cones were a slalom course

She did a happy dance because all of the socks from the dryer matched

A song can make or ruin a person’s day if they let it get to them

Jerry liked to look at paintings while eating garlic ice cream

The truth is that you pay for your lifestyle in hours

If you don’t like toenails, you probably shouldn’t look at your feet

The stench from the feedlot permeated the car despite having the air conditioning on recycled air

I come from a tribe of head-hunters, so I will never need a shrink

If eating three-egg omelets causes weight-gain, budgie eggs are a good substitute

I was very proud of my nickname throughout high school but today- I couldn’t be any different to what my nickname was

Everyone was curious about the large white blimp that appeared overnight

There was no telling what thoughts would come from the machine

Harrold felt confident that nobody would ever suspect his spy pigeon

Car safety systems have come a long way, but he was out to prove they could be outsmarted

The green tea and avocado smoothie turned out exactly as would be expected

He had a vague sense that trees gave birth to dinosaurs

It was a really good Monday for being a Saturday

He kept telling himself that one day it would all somehow make sense

Pantyhose and heels are an interesting choice of attire for the beach