She wrote him a long letter, but he didnât read it
For the 216th time, he said he would quit drinking soda after this last Coke
She could hear him in the shower singing with a joy she hoped heâd retain after she delivered the news
Iâm working on a sweet potato farm
Donât step on the broken glass
I covered my friend in baby oil
She used her own hair in the soup to give it more flavor
The old apple revels in its authority
Itâs never comforting to know that your fate depends on something as unpredictable as the popping of corn
If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history
She was only made the society president because she can whistle with her toes
It was a really good Monday for being a Saturday
Today I bought a raincoat and wore it on a sunny day
The pet shop stocks everything you need to keep your anaconda happy
Whenever he saw a red flag warning at the beach he grabbed his surfboard
Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when youâre in a better frame of mind.
The sudden rainstorm washed crocodiles into the ocean
More RVs were seen in the storage lot than at the campground
It must be easy to commit crimes as a snake because you donât have to worry about leaving fingerprints
Iâll have you know Iâve written over fifty novels