He went on a whiskey diet and immediately lost three days
She looked at the masterpiece hanging in the museum but all she could think is that her five-year-old could do better
100 years old is such a young age if you happen to be a bristlecone pine
Buried deep in the snow, he hoped his batteries were fresh in his avalanche beacon
I would have gotten the promotion, but my attendance wasn’t good enough
The toy brought back fond memories of being lost in the rain forest
She insisted that cleaning out your closet was the key to good driving
Writing a list of random sentences is harder than I initially thought it would be
Little Red Riding Hood decided to wear orange today
Harrold felt confident that nobody would ever suspect his spy pigeon
It was her first experience training a rainbow unicorn
You have no right to call yourself creative until you look at a trowel and think that it would make a great lockpick
She felt that chill that makes the hairs on the back of your neck when he walked into the room
I received a heavy fine but it failed to crush my spirit
Tuesdays are free if you bring a gnome costume
The best part of marriage is animal crackers with peanut butter
He waited for the stop sign to turn to a go sign
He took one look at what was under the table and noped the hell out of there.
He is no James Bond; his name is Roger Moore
Mr. Montoya knows the way to the bakery even though he’s never been there