Kik@purplequeen4u Selling custom nudes cherry_blossom

It must be five o’clock somewhere

There are over 500 starfish in the bathroom drawer

The toddler’s endless tantrum caused the entire plane anxiety

Toddlers feeding raccoons surprised even the seasoned park ranger

It was always dangerous to drive with him since he insisted the safety cones were a slalom course

He dreamed of eating green apples with worms

The furnace repairman indicated the heating system was acting as an air conditioner

He went on a whiskey diet and immediately lost three days

Sarah ran from the serial killer holding a jug of milk

Joyce enjoyed eating pancakes with ketchup

It’s not possible to convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising it infinite bananas when they die

Three generations with six decades of life experience

Always bring cinnamon buns on a deep-sea diving expedition

Writing a list of random sentences is harder than I initially thought it would be

I’m confused: when people ask me what’s up, and I point, they groan

The fish dreamed of escaping the fishbowl and into the toilet where he saw his friend go

As time wore on, simple dog commands turned into full paragraphs explaining why the dog couldn’t do something

As she walked along the street and looked in the gutter, she realized facemasks had become the new cigarette butts

He was surprised that his immense laziness was inspirational to others

The truth is that you pay for your lifestyle in hours