I’m working on a sweet potato farmv 
- She is never happy until she finds something to be unhappy about; then, she is overjoyed.
She couldn’t decide of the glass was half empty or half full so she drank it
- He dreamed of leaving his law firm to open a portable dog wash.
It was difficult for Mary to admit that most of her workout consisted of exercising poor judgment
Baby wipes are made of chocolate stardust
He had a hidden stash underneath the floorboards in the back room of the house
Joe made the sugar cookies; Susan decorated them.
Please tell me you don’t work in a morgue
The door swung open to reveal pink giraffes and red elephants
Someone I know recently combined Maple Syrup & buttered Popcorn thinking it would taste like caramel popcorn. It didn’t and they don’t recommend anyone else do it either
Acres of almond trees lined the interstate highway which complimented the crazy driving nuts
The light in his life was actually a fire burning all around him
The sun had set and so had his dreams.
This book is sure to liquefy your brain
You can’t compare apples and oranges, but what about bananas and plantains
He hated that he loved what she hated about hate
On a scale from one to ten, what’s your favorite flavor of random grammar?
My uncle’s favorite pastime was building cars out of noodles
8% of 25 is the same as 25% of 8 and one of them is much easier to do in your head