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He dreamed of leaving his law firm to open a portable dog wash

I’m a great listener, really good with empathy vs sympathy and all that, but I hate people

Greetings from the real universe

A song can make or ruin a person’s day if they let it get to them

He realized there had been several deaths on this road, but his concern rose when he saw the exact number

Gwen had her best sleep ever on her new bed of nails

He told us a very exciting adventure story

He never understood why what, when, and where left out who

After coating myself in vegetable oil I found my success rate skyrocketed

When he asked her favorite number, she answered without hesitation that it was diamonds.

There aren’t enough towels in the world to stop the sewage flowing from his mouth

He enjoys practicing his ballet in the bathroom

Pantyhose and heels are an interesting choice of attire for the beach

The teenage boy was accused of breaking his arm simply to get out of the test

Dan ate the clouds like cotton candy

The near-death experience brought new ideas to light

He enjoys practicing his ballet in the bathroom

The dead trees waited to be ignited by the smallest spark and seek their revenge

The bread dough reminded her of Santa Clause’s belly

When she didn’t like a guy who was trying to pick her up, she started using sign language