I was offended by the suggestion that my baby brother was a jewel thief
He took one look at what was under the table and noped the hell out of there
I think I will buy the red car, or I will lease the blue one
He is good at eating pickles and telling women about his emotional problem
She could hear him in the shower singing with a joy she hoped he’d retain after she delivered the news
I checked to make sure that he was still alive
There’s probably enough glass in my cupboard to build an undersea aquarium
He said he was not there yesterday; however, many people saw him there
She learned that water bottles are no longer just to hold liquid, but they’re also status symbols
I love eating toasted cheese and tuna sandwiches
Twin 4-month-olds slept in the shade of the palm tree while the mother tanned in the sun
All she wanted was the answer, but she had no idea how much she would hate it
You realize you’re not alone as you sit in your bedroom massaging your calves after a long day of playing tug-of-war with Grandpa Joe in the hospital
He stomped on his fruit loops and thus became a cereal killer
Going from child, to childish, to childlike is only a matter of time
I am happy to take your donation; any amount will be greatly appreciated
The most exciting eureka moment I’ve had was when I realized that the instructions on food packets were just guidelines
It must be five o’clock somewhere
He played the game as if his life depended on it and the truth was that it did
A suit of armor provides excellent sun protection on hot days.